The Holidays are coming! :)

Christmas is just around the corner and things are getting hectic. The hubby did some black Friday shopping this weekend and got some pretty good deals. Right now he is installing the new car stereo player in the car. Its taking a lot longer than he expected because they gave him the wrong wires when he went to buy the kit... He finally got the right ones after going to almost every auto store in town... he went to best buy and they had what he needed. lol :)

I went to watch the new Breaking dawn movie and stood in line 3 hours to see it. I had bought my tickets in October so I knew that I would see it, but I had to wait in line because that's just how it is... lol! I think the Saturday after it premiered I went and saw it again with my friend Nathalie. It was so good to see her again and I hope that we get to spend some more time together soon. The girls hadn't seen each other in a few years and it was as if you hadn't ever separated them. I enjoyed watching them converse and play. It was nice! I miss that!

Andrew's football season is over, but we are thinking that it's right on time for fall baseball season. He's excited about that too! Serenity's in dance still and it's getting close to competitive season time and that means traveling for us! I am excited for that; so is she! :)

Hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and got to spend much needed time with family and friends!

Wishing you all the best!

I apologize

I'm sitting here and I'm looking back on things that happened in my life. I realize that I was and am not perfect. I have done some pretty dumb things in my life and I have made allot of mistakes. I know that I have treated some people badly and I have to say that I am sorry for that.

To a certain someone...
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. When your brother passed away and when you needed a shoulder to cry on. When you were dealing with abusive parents and going through things that you should have never had to deal with. I'm sorry that when you were going through hard times that I wasn't there or that I made certain situations about me. I'm sorry that I let certain people get in the way of our friendship. I obviously was so naive at that time that I had no idea that I was hurting you when now that I look back it was obvious to me. I was selfish and inconsiderate. It was rude of me to do these things and to make a bad situation worse. I made things about me at times and I apologize for that! I'm sorry that even after being separated for 2 years that when we made contact again that I did the same thing. I know now that I have things that I need to continuously work on. You were always there for me and I wasn't always there for you. Your family pretty much took me in when I needed it the most and I am so grateful to you and your MiMi and Pau Pau for that. Thank you for being my friend and I'm truly grateful for that!
I will admit to my faults, even the ones that I had no idea what I did at the time and don't know about to this day!
I'm SORRY!

Camp Pulse

I can not express to you all the fun that we had this weekend!
We got to spend time with some wonderful people and some great friends.

Here is our dance group with our instructors and with the cast and crew from Camp Pulse...

Notice anyone?

Serenity with a crew member and Claude Racine from Shake It Up and Camp Rock

Kaili from ReQuest on Americas Best Dance Crew and David Moore from Step Up 3D

Yes that IS... Lane Napper from Victorious and iCarly!
This is Kherington Payne from Glee and Fame!

My Serenity love! I just love that she had so much fun. We can not wait till next year!
Let me just say that these were the sweetest people. Such great spirits from all of them. So patient and kind with everyone that they met!
I was very pleased!

Starting A New Journey!

Started a new journey 2 days ago.
I decided to change my life!
I joined Curves and I am 2 days in and I'm liking it so far. I know that there are going to be days when I just don't want to go and that I just don't feel up to it.
Its hard to fight the urge to just be able to eat whatever I want to when I want to but I know that I have to do something about my weight now so that I can be in my kids lives later!

The hardest part for me so far was when I walked into the Curves and I saw the scale. I am a overweight woman... I know what I weight approximately and I knew right away that the scale would not weight me. I was embarrassed and fearful all at the same time. I was overcome with so many different emotions. I didn't know what to think or even say to the lady at the counter.

I am grateful that I was among people that have been through what I have or have dealt with many of the issues that I have. So far things have gone good. I am praying that by next JULY that I will have lost at 50-75 pounds and will be able to comfortably walk around the cruise ship that my daughters National Dance Competition will be on. I am excited, but I still do not want to get my hopes up!

Hard to Admit!

Wow! I guess that I never realized how some things from my past have hurt me so much. I try hard not to show it and I try to keep it all bottled up inside, but sometimes things need to come out and be said or referenced to. I will never understand how my so called parents went through life thinking that they could treat their children the way that they did and my dad still does. I will never understand why or how someone could have children and mistreat them the way that they do. I have learned to deal with it and move on, but honestly today I have been in a mood thinking about all the things that I missed out on or the fact that I had to grow up a lot faster than most children do.
I was always told that I was no good and that I would never amount to anything... after a while when your young you start to believe what you are being told. I will never have a good relationship with my dad, my mom has passed away and I will never have that closure that I really needed in life. I will never have a good relationship with my one and only sister because we have both been so mistreated and abused that we can not get over the hurt and pain that comes along with it all. I have tried time and time again to reach out and make an effort. I don't know how she feels and she doesn't understand how I feel either. It doesn't matter how long we talk about it or what is said it never gets through either one of us. All I can do is pray and hope that whatever the outcome that I will be OK in the end. I can no longer look at it as it being my fault. I can no longer blame myself and I can no longer take the abuse from others.
I love my sister and my dad... they are my family. I am stuck with them regardless. I will forever LOVE them and need them in my life, but I have to take care of me and mine!
I don't know what to do anymore!

Busy Weekend Again!

I have got a busy busy evening tonight!
Football practice and then heading to Academy to get my sons cleats for football...
Then I have to go to Walmart or to Kmart and make sure that I get gifts for 2 different children for birthday parties that we have after Andrew's football game in the morning. Tomorrow is just as busy and I am probably going to be worn out by the time I get to the second birthday party, but at least I am getting out of the house! lol

I have had a rough couple of days filled with crap that could have been disregarded had I just not listened to it because it never resolved anything anyway!
Oh well Life Goes On!!

I'm ready for my schedule to be busy and I'm ready to get in there and make it all happen. My hubby has to work tomorrow but that's what I like about the fact that I can be independent when I need to be.
I'm glad too cause I get to take my friend and her daughter with me to the b-day party and I get to hang out with the people I love the most! All in all its going to be a great day and weekend!

Hope everyone has a great weekend as well!

But if any man provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 timothy 5:8

It Is What It Is.

No matter how much I try and no matter what I do... I can not and will never be able to please everyone!
I am not perfect and never will be... No one is!
All I can do is make sure that I do what is right by me and by my kids.
All I plan on doing for the rest of my time here is to make sure that I take care of me and mine.

I choose to have JOY and PEACE in my life from here on out.

I tell the truth and no matter what anyone thinks it doesn't do me any good. I cant please everyone and I refuse to suffer for it.
They can believe what they want to believe; I can not and will not dwell on things of the past because I learned the hard way that it gets you NO WHERE!
I have made peace with things in my life and I will not let anything or anyone bring me down.
I am moving on and if anyone wants to be a part of my life they will make the effort that it takes to do so.

I love all my fellow blog readers and I love the reads that I have everyday.
Bless you all and Have a fabulous day!

Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy!

It's never easy to say goodbye to someone... Its never easy to have to let someone go.
I know that I am in pain when I have to do these things, but I know that there are reasons unknown that we have to go through these things in life.
Sadly we lost a special person yesterday due to an accident that never should have happened.

He was one of the nicer people that made the effort to get to know you when you met him and he was a really sweet guy. A great father and a great man all around.
You will be greatly missed Johnny!
Rest In Peace!

Busy Weekend!

Both my babies are active in their own activities and I am thankful that they are into their own things.
We are going to be very busy this weekend.
Serenity will be performing with the high school top-cats team during the high school football game tomorrow night... and then Saturday morning will be Andrew's first official football game with the Sharks team that he is on.
We are excited to start the football season and to watch our son play. I am also grateful for such good friends (more like family) that come and watch him play when they don't have to.
Its going to be a crazy weekend and I can't wait to get it started!!

My baby girl is sick :(

You can tell that she doesn't feel well.
I can't stand it when my kids are sick!
She woke up with a sore throat and a fever... I'm hoping that I can nip this in the butt before it spreads to everyone else!! Lord help us!

Remembering all the Pain

Ok! So I am totally missing my friends from Ky right now. Sometimes I sit and think about what it would have been like had my mom not decided to abandon me and send me to live with my dad in TX. For a long time I hated her for doing what she did and at times I think about it and I still get angry. I had a great life in Ky... I had friends and FAMILY living there. Things weren't great but I was HOME and I was HAPPY! I know that if things hadn't turned out the way that they did that I wouldn't have the Loves of my life right now! I am eternally grateful to God for my children and my husband. I hate that I had to stand at the terminal and say goodbye to the bestest friend that God gave me and know that I wasn't coming back...

You see my mom had told me that I was going to visit my dad for 2 weeks; so I was excited and nervous at the same time. I was happy to go see him and scared cause I hadn't seen him in 4 years. I didn't know who my dad was anymore so I was scared to death that I wasn't going to like my trip at all. Needless to say... my mom decides to tell me right before I bored the plain to fly and see him for what I thought was a visit; that I wasn't coming back. That this trip was permanent and that I was going to live with my father. I had no idea!!

I told her that I hated her and that I never wanted to see her again... I didn't and I meant every word.

I had to tell my best friend that I wasn't coming back and say goodbye forever... (not knowing that I would come and visit from time to time when I could)

It hurts to have to deal and go through something like this when your a sophomore in high school.

I am grateful that to this day I am still friends and will forever love my friend Becky. I have gained a friend through her (her Hubby WALLY) and the love of a little girl that is her daughter! I LOVE YOU REBECCA!!

Football Season is here!!

This little guy is so eager and excited that he is finally old enough to do something that is age appropriate!
NCYFL Football!! We are so excited as well! I cant wait to see this little guy play... Practice has already been a hoot to watch!

Dance has officially started!

We started a new year of dance class today and Serenity had a new outfit to strut her stuff in.

My baby girl doing a pose!I did her nails to try and match her outfit today!This is my daughter practicing for her NCYFL (football dance team)
We also found out today that my daughter will be having a competition on a cruise ship for seven days on the Carnival Cruise Elation!!! We are so excited for this because it will be our first cruise and its going to be a blast!

My 2nd grade Princess

Meet the teacher night

1st day of 2nd grade

My Kindergarten Prince

Meet the teacher night

1st day of Kindergarten

To a Certain Someone... VENTING

You know whats crazy? I have tried and tried many a time to be on your side and to listen to what you have to say. I have tried to be friends and I have tried to make time for you in my life. I refuse to go out of my way anymore.
I don't get why you complain about how your kids don't have friends and that your kids are neglected when it comes to family. I made sure that I invited you and you neglected... That is on you! I am tired of trying and then being told that its my fault that we don't have a relationship.

I know that things have been said about me behind my back... sad thing is that you say it to the people that I consider family. I get blamed for things that I had no part in.

I AM DONE!!

What's Happening?

I'm sitting here watching my kiddos play Dance Central on the XBOX!! They are having a blast.
I love watching my kids being active and just having fun. It makes my heart happy. I love it!
I love that I can make the time to make sure that they are happy and we sacrifice allot so that they can do the things that they love.
I want to make sure that they stay active and that they are healthy in every way that I can. Nothing will keep me from that.

We have signed Andrew up for football finally and he is so excited. He is finally at that age that he can do something that he wants to and he is old enough to do it. There really aren't allot of things for boys under the age of 4-5 to do... at least that I have found anyway!
Thankfully though its all starting now and I am going to love watching him play football. Plus I cant wait till the fall when he can try out for baseball as well. AHHH! I am going to be one busy momma. Maybe I'll lose some weight in the process. That would be so nice.

I plan on joining a gym if I can so that while the kids are school I can go and workout and try and lose some much needed pounds. Please PRAY that this works out and that I can keep up with it.

Michael's job has been doing good so we are doing good now that he has a steady job that actually pays him when they say they are going to. I'm praying that everything stays steady and that we are able to start paying off debts that we have. Our credit needs to come up so that we can start planning on maybe getting into a house!

I need to update a few things on here and get some new pictures up. I will be sure to do that over the next couple of days.
Hope that everyone had a great weekend.

Serenity's 2011 Dance Recital

My baby got her 3 yr. award & her Elite company award.

all dolled up...

giving Daddy special kisses

my baby and meFamily

Grandma and Serenity

My "BABY"

...lost his 1st Tooth

Frustrated

I have been sitting here at the house today thinking too much on certain things. It has been bugging the crud out of me that my husbands check hasn't come in when he was supposed to be paid on the 30th.
I don't get why this keeps happening and why they keep letting it happen.

I know that I must be thinking too much on it, but it aggravates the fire out of me and I am to the point that I want to go to his job and make a scene. Which I know would just make matters worse. UGH!

Summer has begun

It is official.

These 2 are officially a 2nd grader and a kindergartner.
It's hard to believe but I know that they are growing up and that the time is just literally flying by.

Serenity's 2011 Dance Pictures!

BLUSH

One Dance

My Serenity is an Elite Dancer for Teffany's Dance Studio.
This is a picture with her in her cover up minus the jacket.