The Holidays are coming! :)

Christmas is just around the corner and things are getting hectic. The hubby did some black Friday shopping this weekend and got some pretty good deals. Right now he is installing the new car stereo player in the car. Its taking a lot longer than he expected because they gave him the wrong wires when he went to buy the kit... He finally got the right ones after going to almost every auto store in town... he went to best buy and they had what he needed. lol :)

I went to watch the new Breaking dawn movie and stood in line 3 hours to see it. I had bought my tickets in October so I knew that I would see it, but I had to wait in line because that's just how it is... lol! I think the Saturday after it premiered I went and saw it again with my friend Nathalie. It was so good to see her again and I hope that we get to spend some more time together soon. The girls hadn't seen each other in a few years and it was as if you hadn't ever separated them. I enjoyed watching them converse and play. It was nice! I miss that!

Andrew's football season is over, but we are thinking that it's right on time for fall baseball season. He's excited about that too! Serenity's in dance still and it's getting close to competitive season time and that means traveling for us! I am excited for that; so is she! :)

Hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and got to spend much needed time with family and friends!

Wishing you all the best!

I apologize

I'm sitting here and I'm looking back on things that happened in my life. I realize that I was and am not perfect. I have done some pretty dumb things in my life and I have made allot of mistakes. I know that I have treated some people badly and I have to say that I am sorry for that.

To a certain someone...
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most. When your brother passed away and when you needed a shoulder to cry on. When you were dealing with abusive parents and going through things that you should have never had to deal with. I'm sorry that when you were going through hard times that I wasn't there or that I made certain situations about me. I'm sorry that I let certain people get in the way of our friendship. I obviously was so naive at that time that I had no idea that I was hurting you when now that I look back it was obvious to me. I was selfish and inconsiderate. It was rude of me to do these things and to make a bad situation worse. I made things about me at times and I apologize for that! I'm sorry that even after being separated for 2 years that when we made contact again that I did the same thing. I know now that I have things that I need to continuously work on. You were always there for me and I wasn't always there for you. Your family pretty much took me in when I needed it the most and I am so grateful to you and your MiMi and Pau Pau for that. Thank you for being my friend and I'm truly grateful for that!
I will admit to my faults, even the ones that I had no idea what I did at the time and don't know about to this day!
I'm SORRY!

Camp Pulse

I can not express to you all the fun that we had this weekend!
We got to spend time with some wonderful people and some great friends.

Here is our dance group with our instructors and with the cast and crew from Camp Pulse...

Notice anyone?

Serenity with a crew member and Claude Racine from Shake It Up and Camp Rock

Kaili from ReQuest on Americas Best Dance Crew and David Moore from Step Up 3D

Yes that IS... Lane Napper from Victorious and iCarly!
This is Kherington Payne from Glee and Fame!

My Serenity love! I just love that she had so much fun. We can not wait till next year!
Let me just say that these were the sweetest people. Such great spirits from all of them. So patient and kind with everyone that they met!
I was very pleased!

Starting A New Journey!

Started a new journey 2 days ago.
I decided to change my life!
I joined Curves and I am 2 days in and I'm liking it so far. I know that there are going to be days when I just don't want to go and that I just don't feel up to it.
Its hard to fight the urge to just be able to eat whatever I want to when I want to but I know that I have to do something about my weight now so that I can be in my kids lives later!

The hardest part for me so far was when I walked into the Curves and I saw the scale. I am a overweight woman... I know what I weight approximately and I knew right away that the scale would not weight me. I was embarrassed and fearful all at the same time. I was overcome with so many different emotions. I didn't know what to think or even say to the lady at the counter.

I am grateful that I was among people that have been through what I have or have dealt with many of the issues that I have. So far things have gone good. I am praying that by next JULY that I will have lost at 50-75 pounds and will be able to comfortably walk around the cruise ship that my daughters National Dance Competition will be on. I am excited, but I still do not want to get my hopes up!

Hard to Admit!

Wow! I guess that I never realized how some things from my past have hurt me so much. I try hard not to show it and I try to keep it all bottled up inside, but sometimes things need to come out and be said or referenced to. I will never understand how my so called parents went through life thinking that they could treat their children the way that they did and my dad still does. I will never understand why or how someone could have children and mistreat them the way that they do. I have learned to deal with it and move on, but honestly today I have been in a mood thinking about all the things that I missed out on or the fact that I had to grow up a lot faster than most children do.
I was always told that I was no good and that I would never amount to anything... after a while when your young you start to believe what you are being told. I will never have a good relationship with my dad, my mom has passed away and I will never have that closure that I really needed in life. I will never have a good relationship with my one and only sister because we have both been so mistreated and abused that we can not get over the hurt and pain that comes along with it all. I have tried time and time again to reach out and make an effort. I don't know how she feels and she doesn't understand how I feel either. It doesn't matter how long we talk about it or what is said it never gets through either one of us. All I can do is pray and hope that whatever the outcome that I will be OK in the end. I can no longer look at it as it being my fault. I can no longer blame myself and I can no longer take the abuse from others.
I love my sister and my dad... they are my family. I am stuck with them regardless. I will forever LOVE them and need them in my life, but I have to take care of me and mine!
I don't know what to do anymore!

Busy Weekend Again!

I have got a busy busy evening tonight!
Football practice and then heading to Academy to get my sons cleats for football...
Then I have to go to Walmart or to Kmart and make sure that I get gifts for 2 different children for birthday parties that we have after Andrew's football game in the morning. Tomorrow is just as busy and I am probably going to be worn out by the time I get to the second birthday party, but at least I am getting out of the house! lol

I have had a rough couple of days filled with crap that could have been disregarded had I just not listened to it because it never resolved anything anyway!
Oh well Life Goes On!!

I'm ready for my schedule to be busy and I'm ready to get in there and make it all happen. My hubby has to work tomorrow but that's what I like about the fact that I can be independent when I need to be.
I'm glad too cause I get to take my friend and her daughter with me to the b-day party and I get to hang out with the people I love the most! All in all its going to be a great day and weekend!

Hope everyone has a great weekend as well!

But if any man provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 timothy 5:8