Stress and the way I feel at the moment!

Here I am and I feel hopeless!

I don't know what it is that makes me feel this way, but I don't like it!

I feel as though everything around me is crashing down and I can not do anything about it. Its hard to think that its been over a year that my husband lost his job and has yet to be able to find something! I feel as though this is a test or that there is something that is holding us back.

I know that the Lord has a way of doing things; Especially in His timing.

I know that when one door closes another one is opened and that He will never give us or have us go through anything that we can not handle.

Even through all of this I sit here still in amazement for what He has done for me and the best thing is that I know that He is always there for us!

I want nothing more in my life right now than to follow Him and to be in His will not my own!

My main goal is just that!

I have a hard time right now though!

My weight keeps me from so much at the moment!

I don't want to hide behind what I look like and feel like anymore. I want to be able to go to church and not feel as if people are judging me (I know that my church family isn't that way)! I just want to feel normal and accepted!

I thank the Lord everyday that He placed me with a husband that loved me for who I am and not what I look like... I know that he cares for me more than anything and that he wants me to be happy, but I know he wouldn't mind me being thinner either!

I dream of being 100's of pounds lighter, but I don't know if that will ever be more than just a dream!

I worry and I stress and for me that leads to more stress eating and then more stress!

I don't know what to do or think half the time!

I want to be here for my family! My husband and the kids!

I want to be here and be happy!!

Lord help me!