My Son Is 3

Andrew Dean is now 3 years old. He has grown so much in the past 3 years and I am truely blessed to have him as my son. He is a joy and a handful all in one. I wouldnt want it any other way! He is his daddy wrapped in a little package of himself. He is a daddy's boy at times, but he holds my heart in the palm of his hands. He can tugg the heart strings any day.

I love you son!

Christmas Is In Two Days

Christmas is in two days and I still have last minute shopping to do.
When do we not ever wait till the last minute?.
I can honestly say that I cant wait till Chrsitmas is over.
The hussle and bussle of it all is rediculous and I am getting tired of people acting like fools trying to find the perfect gift.

I want people to know the true reason for Christmas and that is the coming of Christ to Earth.

Yes thats right Jesus' birth. He is the real and true reason for Christmas.

Thankyou Lord!

re: Hubby is sick...

Ok so the hubby is home from the dr. and he has Tonsilitis.(spelling)
Which is just great. For some reason his mom never had his tonsils removed when he was a child and had all these problems before. So now we have to deal with the crap that his mother neglected to take care of when he was in her care. Yes I am a little angry and have every right to be just that. I once again get blamed for the crap that my husband waited so long to get taken care of.
Why must I have to deal with the crap his mom puts me through. If it were my way we would have nothing to do with the crazy lady to begin with for the rest of time.
Anyways; that's another story.
So now I get to take care of my hubby so I got to get off here!

The hubby is sick...

When he gets sick he is really sick which only happens maybe once a year if at all. I am worried to pieces about him cause he can hardly talk and breathe at the same time. He has a hard time swallowing his spit let alone food or drink. He is at the drs. office right now and I am waiting on him to call me and tell me what they say and what they are going to do for him. The sad part is that he has let it go for so long that he has gotten worse. We don't have the cash right now for all this so his mother is paying for the office bill and whatever meds they prescribe to him. Sadly he still has his tonsils and I am worried that he is going to have to have them pulled or removed withing the next year due to this. I mean that is not an issue just that he hates going through stuff like this with a passion. I mean who doesn't?

It doesn't help the situation that he refuses to take medicine and that he can not swallow pills for anything. Not that he won't just that he can't because of the fact that he has a very sensitive gag reflex. I mean sensitive too. It's pretty bad.

So I sit here and I wait to hear what they have to say and what the damage of the bill is that we have to pay back before Christmas to his mother.

WAITING UNANXIOUSLY... ... ...

3 weeks before Christmas!!!

Jesus is better than SantaSanta lives at the North Pole. JESUS is everywhere. Santa rides in a sleigh. JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water. Santa comes but once a year. JESUS is an ever-present help. Santa fills your stocking with goodies. JESUS supplies all your needs. Santa comes down your chimney uninvited. JESUS stands at your door knocks.. and then enters your heart. You have to stand in line to see Santa. JESUS is close as the mention of His name. Santa lets you sit on his lap. JESUS lets you rest in His arms. Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?" JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads. Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly. JESUS has a heart full of love. All Santa can offer is HO HO HO. JESUS offers health, help, and hope. Santa says, "You better not cry." JESUS say "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you." Santa's little helpers make toys. JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repair broken homes and builds mansions. Santa may make you chuckle but. JESUS gives you joy that is strength. Santa is a myth. JESUS is the Truth, the Way, and the Life. While Santa puts gifts under your tree. JESUS become our gift and died on the tree. It's obvious there is really no comparison. We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about. We need to put CHRIST back in Christmas. JESUS IS STILL THE REASON FOR THE SEASON. May the Lord Bless and Watch over you and your loved ones in this Christmas 2008. And may He prosper and bless the work of your hands in the New Year.

Christmas is almost here!

I have to say that this is the best time of the year.

I love Christmas and all the treats and goodies that come with it.

It may be the busiest time of the year, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

This is our "REAL" tree this year so far.

We haven't added the beading, decorative balls, candy canes, or the tree topper yet; but in a few days it will be complete and gorgeous.

Jesus is th REAL reason for the season!

Free to be who I want to be

I want to be what everyone else wants to see.
What everyone pictures me to be, but I cant stand it any longer.
I have to be what I feel deep down inside I know is right. I dont want to hurt anyone and I dont want to think about it anymore.
Why should I live my life for everyone else and not be happy inside and out?
I will live for myself and no one else. (but God)

Life seems too hard when I know that it could be so simple. Why do we make it so hard on ourselves? Why do I have to care so much about what people think? I am so tired of it all!!!

Are you ready for the call?

Are you ready for the trumpet?
Are you ready for the call?
Soon the angels will assemble
To usher in the Son of God
Will he come to find you faithful?
Or will he know your name at all?
Every moment brings us closer.
Are you ready for the call?

Photography

I have found that I have grown fond of a new passion. I am eager to get started on it too.

PHOTOGRAPHY!

I cant wait to see all that it involves and what all that I am capable of doing with a lens focused on a subject or an object.
I can tell you honestly that I have always loved using a camera and taking pictures. Its just a passionate hobby that I have always wanted to do something with.

Note to a Helpless Child...

I know with the things that you are going through and you may be feeling doubtful but know this:
He Know He Cares
Where you are; He's Right there
He Sees, Your Heart
All the hidden Broken Parts
Let Him take you in His Arms
Jesus knows just where you are...

You may be walking through a storm right now; it may even seem as though you are crawling on your knees trying to find your way out.
Just know that you can call on him when YOU need HIM...

Think these words...
Say the Name Jesus
Say the Name Most Precious
Say the name theres No other name I know
Who can calm your fears
who can dry your tears
Who can wash away the pain.
When you dont have the words to say
Just say the name

I am praying for you Hun and I know that He is walking with you through the Valley!

These are songs that have gotten me through alot in life.
I did not in any way write these songs.
These are songs that we sing in church!

School days are here again...

Serenity started school last week and I am enjoying being able to get up with her and sending her off to school. The first day was hard, (for me anyways) but she did well. She has no problem whatsoever getting up in the morning. Half the time when I go in her room to get her up she is waiting on me. I am so proud of her. She has proven to me that she is responsible and she is only 4.

She has year round school and comes home early due to the fact that she is only in Pre-K4. She really enjoys herself there too and I know that she is getting what she needs to learn the basics. She is very smart to begin with and they have already made it known that she gets bored at times cause she knows the lessons already. Sad but true(she was in a private school before now...(more advanced I guess)

I am still going to stay at home with my son Drew and take care of him till he is of school age and then we will decide whether or not I will go back to work or if we will withdrawl the kids from Public school and do Homeschooling at the house. Its a big decision that is going to take lots of prayer. And prayers are always greatly needed and appreciated. I am now currently waiting for picture day and trying to find the perfect outfit for that special day...

Schools Starts and Drama Ends for NOW...

Well today is a new day and I am a new person it seems to me at least...
My daughter started school on Monday and I have been going crazy since. I am so proud of myself getting her up every morning with no problem and getting her off to school. My Hubby's sister has been taking her to school for me cause we do not have a working car as of right now. I think that Serenity likes that though. We may have to keep it that way. I really think that it motivates her to get up and go in the mornings cause she knows that she is going to see one of her favorite persons (Aunt Aurora).
I have been doing good waking up on time which has been a while since I have been able to do that and not be cranky. Although I have been getting up on time I have been feeling a little under the weather due to a urinary tract infection that has torn me up inside. Needless to say I am not feeling well at the moment. I have been having stomach pains for a few days now and have been on the verge of vomiting a few times a day.
Anywho; enough about that drama. I havent talked to my dad in about week and I can honestly tell you that it feels good to not have to deal with that from day to day. Michaels mom has changed her course of anger I guess I should say and has been letting speak my mind and getting out what I feel about the situation that I went through with her. Its hard to believe the things that I have gone through starting at the beginning of the summer till now. Its been a long summer so far and I hope that things start to work out for the better.
We have started to go to a new little church too, not cause we want to leave the Church that we litterally grew up in spiritually; but because, well there are a few reasons. We wont talk about that just yet. We like it as a family cause its a small church of about (MAYBE) 30 people which means that we are like a family. We have had some really great services unto the Lord there already and have only been going for a few weeks... I am excited to say the least to see how the Lord is going to use us there.

Well I guess thats all for now. I'll be back soon.

By the way; where is this senceless Hurricane Dolly at??? LOL

Times of Change

I am to the point that I feel that it is time to change everything around me. I am through having to prove myself to any of you and I dont think that I should have to justify my decision to do so.

I have had enough! I am moving on. On to a new life all of my own with my family. My husband and Kids and me are no longer your trophies and your punching bag. Get on with your bitterness and your life and let me live mine...

What I am feeling...

Drama Drama Drama...

Yeah where do I begin?

Sometimes I sit and think about what it would be like to have the picture perfect family and then the DEVIL comes along and smacks me in the face... wake up...! Where did I go wrong is what comes to me.

Believe me I wouldnt trade the last eight years of my life; but the people in them maybe. I can tell you that I have struggled for many a year trying to keep my mouth shut and hide behind a falseness that I cant hide behind any longer. My actions and the tears that I have cried have drowned me in a puddle of doubtness for the last time.

No longer will I hide my tears and my anger; no longer will I be pushed against the wall wondering why I let it go that far. I am through with your bitterness and your jealousy thinking that you are better than everyone around you.
You dont rule my life! Who are you to judge the life that we made? The life that you try to destroy daily. Who are you to try and tell me how to raise my kids and what I should be doing? Why do I let what you say get under my skin and in my head? I dont NEED you at all in my life and My kids dont need the constant bickering that comes with knowing you and seeing you.

My life is hard at times and I know that things will never be perfect; but without you here to bother and try to seperate what God has brought together as one I will be better off than I have ever been before.

Where did you go wrong? Why did you say that you Love me in so many ways and thank me for the things that I have done and then a few hours later you are telling me that you hate me and that you will do anything in your power to destroy what took years to build. The threats that you made and the things that you said may have gotten to me then but I am done letting you say things and taking them to heart. Where do you get off?

Trying to find the Lord's will for my Life...

I have failed the Lord through many situations and decisions in my life, but I am determined to fight through it until I truly find the Lord's will.
Although these times are hard , I still serve a mighty God. Sometimes my faith runs low when I think of something wonderful that I lost, but I will always have something so much more amazing...The love of God in my heart, revealed through my life. I love the Lord, and I am very thankful that He was and is merciful enough to look down to this earth spotting such a lost individual, yet He just reached out and picked me up, throwing my past and my sins into the sea of forgetfulness, cleansing me to make a willing and able vessel for Christ. I pray that the Lord will use me to reach out to such a lost soul as mine once was. I love the Lord, and I love His works. and I love His encouragement....... The gates of hell will NOT prevail!!!!!!

I wanna be addicted to Christ...!

Most of the people who read this know me and know that I have not been in church. I dont want anyone's sympothy.
I came to know God about 8 years ago and I have had sturggles since then. I feel more like a lukewarm Christian or a sideline Christian. I know that I need to get back and that I need to start a new found relationship with Him. It starts today!He loves us!
We are His fortune and He is our prize!
I have turned my back on God and and I know how much it hurts him that I am not there with Him when I struggle. I have always had a struggle with anger and I know now that I can be restored by His Love and Grace.Each one of us has a testimony in Christ that we need to live by. I know that its not going to be easy and that I may struggle, but I give it all to Christ.

Daddy's Empty Chair

DADDY'S EMPTY CHAIR

A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows.
An empty chair sat beside his bed.
The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit.
'I guess you were expecting me, he said.
'No, who are you?' said the father.
The minister told him his name and then remarked,
'I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up.'
'Oh yeah, the chair,' said the bedridden man.
'Would you mind closing the door?'
'I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter,' said the man.
At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head.
'I abandoned any attempt at prayer,' the old man continued,
' until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me,
'Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus.
Here is what I suggest.
'Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair.
It's not spooky because he promised,
'I will be with you always'.
'Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now.
''So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day.
I'm careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm.
' The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey.
Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.
Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon. Did he die in peace?' he asked.
Yes, when I left the house about two o'clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek.
When I got back from the store an hour later I found him .
But there was something strange about his death.
Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?
'The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, 'I wish we could all go like that.
Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive.
I asked God for water, He gave me an ocean.
I asked God for a flower, He gave me a garden.
I asked God for a friend, He gave me all of YOU...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Things that are going on in Life...

Wow; ok so things are changing in our houshold. Life is great and I am loving it. The kids are doing good too. I am still a SAHM to 2 beautiful babies (as I call em') . It'll be 5 yrs. this June that Michael and I have been married. That's a milestone this day in age with the way that people take marriage to heart!!! I love Michael more today than I have ever loved him. Serenity is going to be 4 in April and is totally excited about starting school in August. She is also going to be playing Kickball this year. (to her its football) but she knows either way. We are hoping that playing the game and introducing her to new people will open her up a lil bit cause she's so shy around EVERYONE... Serenity will be seeing a specialist in April to see if she's going to need surgery for her lazy eye. Andrew is so in the terrible 2's stage right now; but hes doing really well with it I guess. He has been really growing like a weed (to me at least) lol; hes short ok! We are really working on the potty training right now and I think that I am a little more nervous than he is about it. So Life goes on here; and I hope that all is wel with you all! Lord Bless you!

Stay At Home Mommies!

Wheeeeeew~!
I have been BIZZ-EEEE! So what brings me in to blog, you ask? Well, settle in and prepare yourselves for another ranting soapbox blog!

I know you other stay-at-home Mommys know what I'm talking about when I say I HATE it when people tell me how lucky I am that I don't work. "Oh it must be nice to just stay home all day." They assume I can do whatever I want whenever I want, spend hours on trivial things, take bubble baths and daydream about random nothings. This all comes, of course, from people who do not stay at home full-time with a child. The truth is, I am lucky to be able to stay home, but DUDE am I working! I (and when I say I from now on, I'm speaking for all Mommys who traded their power suits for sweatpants) work more hours than at any job I ever had before. I work more hours than anyone with a normal job. I'm on-call 24/7, when Andrew wakes up, throughout the entire day, when he goes to bed, when he wakes up crying, when he's sick, when he's constipated, weekends, holidays, the extra 366th day we're getting in February, Daylight Savings Time, when we go to restaurants, when I'm scrounging together a peanut butter sandwich in between reading the same book for the 99th and 100th time that day.... I work. I just don't get a paycheck.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I get paid in smiles and milestones, sweet little memories of laughing on the floor that I know I'd never be able to make otherwise. But it is HARD! His entire development is up to me, and a reflection on me. I give him every meal he has, I teach him all the words and skills he knows, I play with him, I read to him, I clip his tiny toenails, and I love it. I also dig poop out from under his fingernails when he's taken his diaper off in the crib, wipe feces off of the rails, run to get a towel before he can play with the vomit on the floor (or on my shirt), wipe snot with my bare hand when it's all there is, smell the putrid fumes that are emitted from baby food, and keep the cat from scratching him. I've had to learn to get the jist of the show I'm watching, since I can't watch Law & Order: SVU without Elmo interrupting at some point. I can't text. I am a master at typing with one hand and keeping my kids at bay with the other. I read book after book after book after book, play random games that I can't fathom how they entertain him so much, eat late lunches, share everything I try to snack on, try to turn everything around us into a learning experience, and read some more books. Nothing is my own. I don't get to get dressed up anymore, except for church. I'd wear shorts but they are frightened by my legs ~I'm too busy to shave. The only breaks I get are for three-and-a-half hours a week when he's in the church nursery. I'm up late and early. I'm exhausted. I don't get sick days or vacations. I don't even get to pee in privacy. Nope, the second I make it in there, I'm either followed by a toddler with a book or trying to reach and swat at his hand to stop him from unravelling all of the toilet paper, all while not falling off or losing my dignity when I realize I'm reading Dr. Seuss on the pot. I find myself dancing like my kids (which let's face it, he's no Channing Tatum) to every song that comes on TV. Make-up, perfume, curling irons and nice unmentionables are a luxury. Don't even get me started on getting to eat in an actual restaurant! I mean, we are on one income now (another factor conveniently forgotten by those who look down their nose at "just staying home."). Like any mom, I've been burped on, pooped on, farted on, peed on, farted on again, puked on, bled on, then farted on. I just get it all day, everyday. My board meetings involve farm animals and my raises come in giggles. So do not be mistaken, there is nothing glamorous about what I do.

Every year a salary is figured up for what a full-time Mommy should be paid, considering all of the hours and services she provides. This past year it was announced that our hard work is worth a little over $182,000 per year. Now, I'll subtract about $30,000 for me, because I'm not a chauffer yet, but I think you see my point. I work, dangit, and I work hard. I love it, and I'm so happy and blessed to be able to be home with my kids, but it's work. I won't blame you if you envy me, because I have the best co-workers you can get and the benefits are unmatched elsewhere. My dress code is awesome and I don't really have deadlines. I graduated highschool, and I CHOSE to be a Mommy, so it must be a pretty great job. Just don't ask me why I haven't gotten around to reading a book or folding the laundry or uploading pictures. I don't sleep all day, I don't watch TV all day, and there are no unicorns. If your mom stayed home with you, get her something extra nice for Mother's Day this year. If you stay home with your little one(s), more power to you, and hopefully you'll get a break soon! All Mommys, despite their job status, work hard. Just don't think our lives are a cakewalk if we get to stay home!

New Years Goal

A new year and a new dawn! A new day I guess that I should say! I am hoping and praying that this will be the year that I make a change. There are so many things that I can change about myself, but I guess that the thing that I would like to change the most is the fact that I have a bad mouth on me and that I need to watch what I say and how I say it. Also I NEED, need, need to lose weight!!! I am so sick of looking at myself in the mirror and thinking that I am beautiful but then knowing that I am fat and no one wants to look at me the way that I should be looked at. I used to be a lot smaller than I am now! I know that I can lose the weight; its just the fact of going about and doing it...! I need to get on with my life and realize that I need to get with the program and lose it! I am determined to make this a new day and create a new outlook on life. My prayer is that I will have the strength to continue on in the goal of losing weight and that my words will be few and strong enough to get me through it all. Lord help me to choose my words and to not be so hard on myself at times. I love you and I put my trust in you completely...! Thankyou!